Nikocado Avocado, known for his over-the-top mukbangs and infamous breakdowns, dropped a bombshell in his recent video titled, “I’m Done. My Life Is a Mess.” The video, running just over 40 minutes, isn’t just another dramatic rant. This time, it’s a genuine cry for help, laced with regret, sadness, and a stark reality check. It’s the most depressing Nikocado content we’ve seen in years, making his previous breakdowns seem trivial in comparison.
In this blog, we’ll break down the key points from the video, dive into his reflections, financial struggles, and what this means for the future of his channel.
“I Hate What I’ve Become”
The video opens with a somber tone. Nikocado starts by immediately diving into his emotions, admitting that he’s on the verge of a breakdown. His face, already reflecting sadness and exhaustion, only reinforces his words:
“I’m on the edge of a breakdown. By the end of this video, I’ll probably be flipping out.”
Nikocado reveals that his life, which once seemed glamorous and filled with success, has taken a nosedive. He laments over his decision to start a YouTube career, calling it a mistake. In one of the most heart-wrenching moments of the video, he states:
“I wish I could turn back the clock. I wish I never did YouTube. I threw away the best years of my life for this.”
At the core of his distress is his reflection on fame, YouTube, and the price he paid to live a life where he constantly feels hated. He even confesses to hating his channel, the mukbang content, and what it’s done to his body and mind. The realization that he’s essentially eating himself into misery is palpable:
“I had dreams, I had goals, and I threw them all away to eat food for other people’s entertainment.”
The Shocking Financial Struggles
Despite having a massive YouTube presence with over 1.85 billion views across his five main channels, Nikocado shocked his audience with a revelation that’s hard to believe. He claims that, despite his success, he’s not making money. In the video, he says:
“I’ve barely made any money for the past 2-3 years.”
This statement is tough to process when you consider the sheer scale of his viewership. By conservative estimates, Nikocado has earned about $5.5 million from YouTube ads alone. Then there’s his $500 Cameo requests (with over 1,000 reviews), Patreon, and merch sales, which likely push his career earnings close to $10 million. So how could he possibly be broke?
He hints at a few reasons, one of them being YouTube’s algorithm and demonetization policies. His content, often controversial or deemed inappropriate, has been repeatedly hit by demonetization, and he admits it’s been happening for three years. He explains:
“My job is to show up and hope I get paid for it, but YouTube strikes me down.”
We tested this by checking some of his videos on a fresh account and found that many of them didn’t show ads, supporting his claim. Yet, Nikocado doesn’t just blame YouTube. He admits to poor financial decisions and losing most of the money he did earn. He confesses:
“The money I did make, I lost. I hate my finances. I hate my husband. I hate my life.”
It’s a stark contrast from the image of success and luxury many viewers have associated with him.
A Deep Regret for His Lost Talent
One of the most heart-wrenching revelations in this video is the loss of something Nikocado once cherished deeply: his musical talent. Before the mukbangs, before the breakdowns, before the fame, Nikocado was a talented violinist. He even attended Juilliard, one of the most prestigious music schools in the world, on a full scholarship. He says:
“I used to play violin, and I was good. But now, my fingers are too fat, they get stuck in the strings.”
This admission is devastating. Nikocado recalls a time when he inspired others with his music, saying:
“I used to play at weddings, I used to give people hope. I felt like I was doing something meaningful. Now, I just eat food on camera.”
His regret is palpable, and the viewers can see how much he longs for those days. He reflects on how playing music gave him purpose and pride:
“I felt closer to God. I felt like I was doing what I was meant to do. Now? I don’t feel that with these videos.”
This loss of identity, and the replacement of a meaningful passion with destructive content, seems to be the root of much of his misery.
“I Can’t Even Get a Normal Job”
As Nikocado’s breakdown continues, he talks about why he can’t simply quit YouTube and return to a normal life. Fame, as it turns out, is a double-edged sword. While it brought him attention, money, and followers, it also made him one of the most recognizable faces on the internet — for all the wrong reasons.
“I can’t even get a normal job. Imagine me applying for something like management. People know me. There are so many horrible things out there about me.”
He’s trapped in his own persona, unable to escape the “fat funny meme” that his audience knows him for. Even though Nikocado has considered leaving the country, moving to Indonesia to escape it all, he’s still plagued by the fear of being unable to start over. He describes feeling stuck in a life he hates, with no clear path to redemption.
The Weight Loss Dilemma
Interestingly, Nikocado touches on the idea of weight loss in his video. He reveals that he has already lost 89 pounds, but still considers himself morbidly obese. He says:
“I recently lost 89 pounds, but I’m still so fat I can’t even fit in a chair.”
For many viewers, this could have been an opportunity for Nikocado to pivot his content, focusing on his weight loss journey. After all, other YouTubers have found massive success by documenting their transformations. However, Nikocado seems terrified of trying something new. He says:
“The worst part is, I have an escape route, but I’m too afraid to take it.”
This fear of change is what’s keeping him trapped in his current cycle of mukbangs, depression, and regret. He acknowledges that mukbangs are a “dying horse,” but clings to them because it’s all he knows. He even questions what would happen if he just disappeared:
“If I quit YouTube, who would care? 100 people? A couple hundred people? Oh no, I can’t watch Nikocado eat Takis anymore.”
The way he brushes off his impact with sarcasm hides a deeper pain — the fear that his relevance and influence would fade away without the constant spectacle of his mukbangs.
Could There Be Redemption?
While Nikocado’s video is filled with despair, there is a glimmer of hope. Many viewers
express their desire to see him change for the better. The comment section of the video is flooded with people urging him to quit mukbangs and focus on his health, mental well-being, and even rekindle his passion for music. Some fans even suggested he start a series documenting his weight loss or musical comeback, pointing out that a redemption arc could revitalize his career.
One viewer wrote:
“Nik, we’d watch you do anything — even play violin or just talk about your life. You don’t have to destroy yourself for views.”
This sentiment was echoed by many who said they would support him through healthier, more positive content. Despite the grim tone of his video, there’s still a loyal fanbase rooting for his recovery and willing to follow him down a new path if he chooses to take it.
The Larger Issue: The Dark Side of YouTube Fame
Nikocado’s situation speaks to a larger issue in the YouTube community — the toll that fame can take on creators. Many YouTubers, especially those in high-stress niches like mukbang, experience burnout, mental health issues, and physical strain. The pressure to keep up with the algorithm, maintain an audience, and consistently churn out content can push creators to extremes.
Nikocado isn’t the first YouTuber to publicly break down and express regret for their career. We’ve seen similar situations with creators like Shane Dawson, Trisha Paytas, and Eugenia Cooney, all of whom have faced criticism and struggled with personal issues due to their online personas.
However, Nikocado’s case feels particularly tragic because of how deeply intertwined his content is with his own physical and emotional deterioration. His brand is built on excess — excessive eating, excessive drama, and now, excessive sadness. Unlike other creators who can pivot to different types of content, Nikocado’s entire identity on YouTube is tied to his mukbangs, making it incredibly difficult for him to transition to something healthier without risking his entire career.
A Cry for Help?
Toward the end of the video, Nikocado pauses, taking a deep breath. For a moment, it seems like he’s going to cry. He looks directly into the camera and says:
“I don’t know how much longer I can do this. I’m not okay, and I don’t know if I ever will be.”
It’s a raw, unfiltered moment that gives viewers a glimpse into the real person behind the dramatic persona. This isn’t the first time Nikocado has expressed distress, but this time it feels different. There’s an overwhelming sense that he’s reaching out for help, not just from his audience, but from anyone willing to listen.
Yet, despite his admission of needing change, Nikocado quickly returns to his trademark sarcasm and drama. He jokes about having a “massive blowout” by the end of the video, and the remaining minutes feature him eating a giant platter of fast food. It’s a familiar sight — Nikocado falling back into the same cycle that he’s expressed so much disdain for.
What’s Next for Nikocado?
As viewers, we can only speculate what the future holds for Nikocado Avocado. Will he continue down the same destructive path, or will this video mark the beginning of a new chapter for him? It’s hard to say. On one hand, he seems exhausted, defeated, and desperate for change. On the other hand, he’s afraid to leave behind the persona that made him famous, even if it’s destroying him.
In the end, Nikocado’s new video is a sobering reminder of the dark side of YouTube fame and the heavy toll it can take on creators. It’s a stark contrast to the entertaining yet chaotic mukbangs we’ve come to expect from him. The title of the video, “I’m Done. My Life Is a Mess,” is fitting — it encapsulates the turmoil and sadness that has been building up over the years, now finally bubbling to the surface.
As young viewers, it’s important to recognize that what we see online isn’t always real or sustainable. The pressures of fame, wealth, and constant online presence can lead to dangerous mental health struggles. Nikocado’s story is a cautionary tale, and hopefully, one that leads to a positive change before it’s too late.
Whether Nikocado chooses to turn things around or continue with the content that has made him famous, one thing is clear: His latest video is a call for help that we can no longer ignore. And maybe, just maybe, this is the wake-up call he needs to start his journey toward healing — both physically and mentally.